.png)
Breaking the Silence: From Personal Tragedy to Powerful Advocacy
The Weight of Unspoken Grief: My Early Years in Silence
On December 18th, 1993, my world fractured. My father was gone, lost to suicide. I was just 15 years old, still in high school, navigating a time of life already fraught with complexities. The immediate aftermath was a desolate landscape, shrouded not just in grief but in a profound silence. It was a silence heavy with the struggles of missing him, the persistent grip of shame, the haunting whisper of guilt, and the suffocating weight of societal stigma. And in those raw, formative days, the silence was deafening, especially from my community and, most acutely, from my school, leaving a raw wound that struggled to heal in painful isolation.
​
The grief was a solitary burden, made heavier by unspoken truths and the feeling that no one understood. My seven older sisters and younger brother, and I each dealt with our profound loss in our own way, as it truly should be. One needs to be allowed to grieve in their own way and their own timeframe. But collectively, the world seemed to move on, while I was left grappling with an emptiness that felt unique and insurmountable. Each passing year piled on the unspoken, contributing to a narrative of loss that lacked a voice, a community, or a clear path forward. My mom, however, has always been a steadfast supporter of my mission, a quiet strength through the years.
A Quarter-Century Mark: The Spark of "Break the Silence"
But a quarter-century after that tragic day, something profound shifted. The 25th anniversary of his death in 2018 became not just a painful milestone but a powerful catalyst. It was then that the decision solidified: the silence had to break. I started Break the Silence (BTS), initially on my own, not truly expecting my family to come on board. My intention was simply to become a vocal advocate and to give a much-needed voice to the survivors of suicide. No more hiding in the shadows; it's time to step into the light.
From Solo Mission to Family Legacy: BTS Evolves
Over the years, and especially now, 31 years since his passing, my family has come forward in a big way. With their unwavering support, we've transformed BTS into a non-profit organization. This growth has also brought a crucial shift in our focus: from a broader suicide prevention stance to a deeply dedicated mission of survivor support. Our aim is clear and heartfelt: to cultivate a nurturing community where survivors feel seen, heard, and understood. We are committed to providing tangible support through scholarships for high school seniors whose lives have been affected by suicide, empowering them to pursue their educational dreams despite their immense loss. Looking ahead, we envision organizing camps and events—spaces where we can gather, share our stories, and collectively uplift one another, fostering healing and connection.
Building a Network of Hope: Community Support & Key Partnerships
Since we started BTS in 2018, the outpouring of support from our community, from individuals, and through sponsorships from local businesses and organizations has been incredible. We've been major supporters of the Tulare County Suicide Prevention Task Force, which provides essential resources like therapy and support groups for survivors. We also champion the LOSS (Local Outreach to Suicide Survivors) team, whose compassionate volunteers go directly to the homes of survivors to offer immediate support shortly after their loved one's death. This network of care is precisely what we wished we had.
Finding Light in Loss: Our Family's Transformation
This endeavor has marked a profound transformation within our own family. What began as an immeasurable tragedy has slowly, purposefully, become a powerful catalyst for good. We are finding meaning in our pain, channeling our experience into a shared force for support and hope. The emphasis has shifted from enduring our personal sorrow to actively reaching out, bringing comfort, and offering a lifeline to countless other survivors of suicide. It is our collective way of ensuring that no one else has to bear the burden of such a loss in silence or feel the same isolation we once did. We are committed to helping others find the good, the strength, and the community that emerged from our own tragedy.
As we continue this vital work, we invite you to be a part of our journey. This year, on Friday, December 6th, 2025, we're hosting a special local event right here in Tulare, CA, at the Memorial Building on Tulare Avenue. It's going to be a day of remembrance, community, and inspiration. We'll have a meaningful remembrance walk (with a fun Superhero vs. Villain dress-up theme!), followed by a delicious pancake breakfast. We're honored to feature celebrity speaker Rhonda Britten, who will share her powerful and inspirational story of transformation. Plus, you'll find informational booths from various organizations giving out valuable information on the support they offer our community and how they champion the BTS cause. The funds raised from this event will be crucial in supporting our new mission of survivor support and helping us expand our reach even further in the years to come.
​
For those who can't join us locally, there are still powerful ways to support our mission and this event! You can contribute by donating to our silent auction, becoming an event sponsor, or simply making a monetary donation. Your involvement, no matter how you choose to give, will directly help us expand our community, offer more scholarships, and create more opportunities for survivors to find healing and solidarity.
​
Kelly Fox, President ~ Break the Silence